Home….

I love that word…
It really has so many places in our life… ‘I’m HOME from a trip’, ‘… Home from work’, ‘Home is where the heart is’…

Anyway, where I’m going with this is that I WENT HOME this weekend for the first time in too long. Melbourne was HOME for so long, we moved away and it was someone else’s HOME and we visited. Then visiting became hard so I didn’t go, don’t go enough…

This weekend I WENT HOME.
It was wonderful, not long enough, actually, but I wanted to get back HOME to Gene… But I WAS HOME for a while and I’m glad I went.

I stopped on my way into town and took my mom a copy of my book, Sweet Surrender, It really was a beautiful day, the sun was out, warm but not hot, and a breeze whipped in from the Indian River (the missing piece to the picture was  the Sand Hill Cranes that I usually see when I visit, maybe they were hiding because they didn’t recognize me because I haven’t been there in so long.)

I stood in the quiet and ‘talked’ to my mom about the book and the one that I am working on, and I cried. I never imagined that leaving that book at the cemetery would make me feel like it did, but I missed her, and my dad, missed that they aren’t here to share all of this with me. It’s been 21 years since my dad passed and 5 1/2 since my mom, and I cried for them for the first time in a long time. I think about them all the time, but I cried….

I went to my aunt’s, my mom’s sister, and family came together and I was HOME again. We talked, shared, and laughed, and it felt good, but it made me realize that I need to go HOME more often. My brother was HOME from out of town to visit his children (17 years old – grown people – BEAUTIFUL GROWN PEOPLE!) and I felt HOME surround me again.

The kids go to the same school that I graduated from (and both brothers, cousins and a nephew…) and the performing arts group was doing a play. My niece was doing the sound and she was so proud that she wanted to share it. And I went HOME once more on my little trip back… I “saw” memories of my days at EGHS… The kids did an awesome job of Seussical The Musical and I am glad I went.

Sunday morning HOME was the boathouse on the river at my aunt and uncle’s HOME and the time was filled with more sharing and memories. Then I met a good FRIEND (and missed meeting a new one) for coffee and more HOME, memories, family… prayers…

And then I hot the road north to come HOME again and while I was very glad to be here, HOME with Gene is always my favorite place… I missed HOME… and I know that I will go back again sooner than my last visit…

I keep HOME close, and many of my friends and family have told me that in Sweet Surrender, they read bits and pieces of HOME and it makes me happy – HOME is part of my happy place…. So, I guess where I was going with all of this babble is that YOU CAN GO HOME…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNFEkKRZBzU

Go home every once in a while….

Love, Barbara

F….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once again, probably NOT what you think I was thinking!

OMG, do you know how many FONTS there are out there?! It’s overwhelming…. Anyway – I am getting some good guidance from unnamed people (at this point – they will be properly thanked appropriately in the future, in the right place).

Things are progressing nicely – have some follow-up to do, some more edits and a couple rewrites that made sense when they were pointed out. I told you before that I couldn’t remember all the stuff I forgot from grammar! ha ha!

I am heading south this weekend, too short of a trip, but I will take what I can get. Family and then I am getting the opportunity to meet one of my NEW FAVORITE authors! Pictures to follow!

OK… must iron, since I’m not rich and famous (although I could be – waiting on Gene to check lotto numbers!! ha!) I have to still go to work! (but I’m already planning my next rejuvenation weekend!!!

Live your dream!

Love, Barbara

 

I’m baaaaaaaaack…

Greetings friends,
I had to take a mental hiatus and it was GLORIOUS!

I took Friday and Monday as vacation days and today was a medical day for a skin cancer test I am doing with the research department at my dermatologist’s office. I’m a skin cancer survivor and am participating in a treatment for precancerous keratosis. This is something that means a great deal to me.

Anyway, what was I sayin’? Oh, about time away from the J O B. Friday Geno and I took off with no particular destination and ended up at a little restaurant about 50 miles away and I had the BEST grouper sandwich! We have been flying by the seat of our pants since then, but I didn’t leave my dream behind…

I snuck in some editing and some writing, and I ENJOYED IT – MUCH!

I also read a lot, I posted here, previously, that I am trying to READ some other writers work so that I can learn style and see what I like and what I don’t (it’s a JOURNEY!) and I enjoyed being in someone else’s head…. Gene did say ‘you need to quick reading and think’ – slave driver! ha ha!  I told him I was doing RESEARCH!

He really wants me to work to have Rock and Roll Never Forgets ready to go by my birthday (7/13), but it’s gonna be a stretch…

I must git’along lil’doggies’, I just didn’t want you to think I’d dropped off the face of the earth…

So happy to share this with you!

Love, Barbara

 

 

 

 

The cover up….

🙂

No, there’s no crime…

Just thought I’d share some of what I’m working on with you, a few lines from Rock and Roll Never Forgets, – to tease you… To help explain the quilt from Sunday…

That Willow Tree figurine makes me think of my Mamaw and those thoughts are throughout the book. She and my mom, Alis, were very present in Sweet Surrender as well. My family and friends will find them and experiences with them in what I’m writing now…

Anyway… something that warms me… Excerpts from ‘Rock and Roll’:

“She had journals that she kept over the years. She shared them with me and I read them over, and over. They helped tell the story, in her words. She referred to all those journal entries as the quilt she called her life. It was a glimpse into how she felt, thought, and dreamed during those times.”

“I used her journals, the many conversations we shared, and conversations with her family and friends to pull together pieces from everything I learned, and piece together a quilt of my own. The journals were so full of heart, warmth, and passion. I used ‘pieces’ of them in the story that follows.”

“There was a card that read ‘When you sleep under a quilt, you sleep under a blanket of love’.”

“The quilts were a bond that brought them together. They saved every scrap of fabric from everything they ever made. Each pattern has a meaning. I love the one I have on my bed now. I run my hands over it, see the colors, and each piece of fabric reminds me of something. They are filled with memories and stories. All of that is on my mind now.”

Enough for now…I must get ready for work…

I hope this will make you wonder about ‘THE QUILT’…

Love, Barbara

 

It warms my heart…

Quilts hold so many memories and stories. Today a quilt is my anchor, and inspiration.

I have work to do today and I made a promise to myself to git’r’done, but I wanted to share this before I dig in.

Some of you know the significance this holds, others… you’ll just have to wait and wonder. I’m off… with a task ahead…

Have a beautiful day friends.

Love. Barbara

Procrastimotion

I know it’s not a real word – There’s a collection of “Barb-words” that I make up. I posted that one as a “Word of the Day” a week or so ago on my FaceBook.

It’s defined as: The pushing forward from something that’s held you back.

For the record – no one, or no thing holds me back but ME, MYSELF, AND I!

I have to stop those three bitz’s from getting in my way…

🙂

This has been on my mind so much, it seems I go three steps forward, and back-track two… I know WHY…  I think I’ve (HONESTLY) gotten past ‘I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH…” but where I feel like I am is an anxious feeling. Let me es’plain…

I’ve said all along that Sweet Surrender wasn’t perfect (some of you have said the same thing, and it’s all good…).  It was a trial run – ‘throw it out and see what happens’, those were Gene’s words to me when I was looking into getting 5 printed copies that I earned for FREE from participating in NaNoWriMo. ‘If you print 5 you may as well print 100’. And what happened was good, but in the process I’VE LEARNED SOOO MUCH. And that’s the anxious feeling.

I know, because I am a READER, that the second book in my Rock and Roll Trilogy (When I Look to the Sky) is “gooder” than Rock and Roll (it’s better than SS too). So with every word I type – every sentence I form – every story that comes to my mind – I GROW… I wrote Rock and Roll Never Forgets a LONG TIME AGO (2003 when I started), and it has evolved from OK, to better, to “gooder”, to where I am now.

I’m gonna go through it one more time – that’s it – once more. Because it overwhelms me to think about changing it – I don’t want to for one thing, I LOVE THE STORY. And some who have read the whole thing tell me they love it, and some who have only read the ‘tease’ at the end of SS say they can’t wait to see what comes next. BUT I SEE THINGS THAT I NEED TO ‘FIX”, so I will read through and ‘upgrade’, I’m not gonna over-haul. And if y’all hate it – it’s a chance I’ll take (MY CLIFF!) I don’t love every book I’ve read, so I don’t expect that everyone will love what I write. Gene said follow my gut, and one of my encouragers says over and over – “LET THEM SEE YOU GROW… let them read the book, and then the next and see how much better they get.”

I’ve been asked where I think all of this is going – I honestly don’t know. I am NOT a planner – I am a FLY-BY-THE-SEAT-OF-MY-PANTSTER. I don’t know if someday I see the NY Times best seller list – hell, I didn’t expect the Amazon Top 100 Free for the two days Sweet Surrender was there, but it got there… ‘Que sera sera’… I have voices in my head, a story in my heart, and I’m just gonna take a chance… I’m gonna write a story that someone might like… and if they don’t… there you go!

I love all y’all for taking a chance on me, for sharing my dream, for traveling my journey… each of you is a blessing to me…

Love, Barbara

 

There’s a cliff…

There’s a cliff…

I’m blindfolded, standing at the edge, unknowing…
To my left I hear; “Stop! Don’t take another step, you’ll fall!”

To my right I hear; “Go for it! Take a leap of FAITH! BELIEVE! You’ll be fine!

I hesitate… I listen to the words, thinking my options through in my head, trying to reason with myself, and it comes to this…

No matter how you say it, there are only TWO outcomes:
Sink or swim
Do or die
Fail or Faith

Wow – I ‘stepped away’ a moment to regroup, because this has been heavy on my heart for a few days… While I was ‘gone’ I read a comment about Sherry Shepard’s thoughts on DWTS. Perfect timing today for my own thoughts….

“And, I wanna say, to every person out there — that thing that scares you the most, that makes you say, ‘I don’t know if I can do it, I’m scared,’ run towards it because it’s so amazing on the other side.”

I’m going to press on… I’m running down a dream, I’m gonna take a chance and free-fall into the unknown and see what happens – I’m going to run and see what’s on the other side… I hope to see you when I take the blind fold off…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gqT6En2O78 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiJg0A3RrTk&feature=related

I also wanted to share here – in case someone who reads isn’t a FB friend – that my new friend Stephie Smith’s first book comes out on Kindle today and for TODAY (4/11/12) it’s a FREE DOWNLOAD:

http://www.amazon.com/Duke-Deception-Wentworth-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B007SBJNDE/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1334141645&sr=1-1

Take a leap of faith today! Jump without fear – follow your heart… someone else already did…

Love, Barbara