I love this time of day – it’s (usually) quiet. This morning Cali is rambunctious – part of why I’m up this early on this specific Saturday 🙂 She has this stuffed chicken (that I recently found under something from when Kooky was alive) that she loves. I wonder sometimes if it’s because of Kooky <3 but she carries it around and “talks”. This morning, she “talks” and then bats it across the room to go get it and “talk some more”. So glad she came into our life…
I have a heavy heart this week. Sometimes a moment brings a memory that opens the dam to a flood of emotions. That happened twice this week. I didn’t like it either time – the flood forces you to stop and think about something you may not want to remember – to push back feelings you don’t want to feel. As I write this now, I think this post is going to help Lulu along her journey – that’s how my stories happen; something in my life gives me an in…
Without giving much detail (because I can’t) I’ll tell you that yesterday I had to sit down with someone to talk about what they NEEDED to do for their father. Our hearts are so selfish sometimes that we can’t see the big picture. We see what we want to see, and we don’t want to see (or think about) losing anyone. They were looking for help for his future… they already knew the answer, someone (more than one someone) else had told them what they needed to do, but their selfish heart made them keep searching.
It’s hard to think about going forward without someone who means so much to you. I know – most of you do too. And this is a hard time in my life for this to have happened. Nine years ago this week, my uncle (my mom’s brother) passed away from cancer. Eighteen days later, my mom passed away. Another memory earlier in the week already had that ‘anniversary’ in my mind, and then this meeting brought it forefront and I couldn’t push it aside anymore. So I drew from those emotions…
I listened as two sisters cried telling me their hopes. I listened. They were so emotional that I had a hard time holding it together. One was more rational, the other was a mess. I listened. I explained my work response to their situation, and then they asked what I would do.
So I told them. Now, all I can do is pray that they do what’s right for their father. They told me (and I will cherish these words) that they appreciated my honesty and compassion. Honesty and compassion… Maybe the words I spoke were the ones they needed to hear. I hope that I never have to do that again – in my personal or professional life – but if I do I will speak from my heart.
If I can give YOU one gift from this post today I will tell you to get your things in order. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Know what you want. Know what your loved ones want. Know your plan going forward whether you’re forty, sixty, or eighty – let someone know so you aren’t scrambling trying to figure it out when it’s too late and running on emotions. No one wants to think about that, but it’s going to happen. Do what’s right for them… ASK THEM. Sit down and do this. Do it together. Sit down with your parents and do it.
I didn’t mean this post to be a downer – it’s what’s in my heart.
If you’re reading this, I love you… B