I read another post this morning from someone I follow on Facebook. The gist was SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
Words…
Whether you read them or hear them, interpretation is key. I remember one time I was working on something for work and I’d been using ALL CAPS. I forgot to turn it off when I replied to something else, and the receiver replied back – WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? I called and laughed, said that I was sorry, I wasn’t yelling, and explained what I just said above. Her response: “I’m very sensitive to that!”
Really? We are too sensitive to too many things these days. I respect your beliefs, and your freedoms, but STOP AND LISTEN. HEAR WHAT “I’M” SAYING BEFORE YOU GET ALL “CRAY CRAY” – I don’t mean that just to my self – I mean it to everything that’s going on around us…
Look, here’s the thing… I’m too fat to walk on egg shells…
Sometimes someone writes a negative review or a comment on one of my books and my gut reaction is to reply to them – but I’ve learned to take it as FEEDBACK – NOT FAILURE. I tell myself that not everyone likes the same things – that some people want “more” and I’m not that person. I tell myself that I will be true to my heart in my writing. I do it for me. If you like it – that a BONUS!
(this isn’t about a certain review – it’s just a point)
But I digress…
I “hear” things sometimes too, and wonder if I’m being too sensitive – and then I remember who I am. I am a hard worker. I am a good person. I have a big’ol heart. I have strong ethics and values. I am a writer. I am a wife. I am a friend. I am strong-willed. I am independent. I am a woman. I am weak. I am tired.
I am all these things… But I am also someone who makes mistakes. When I do, I try to make them right. When someone else makes mistakes, I try to give them the opportunity to do the same – make things right. When they don’t, it makes me stumble and fall. Sometimes getting back up is a no-brainer, but sometimes the tumble is harder to recover from.
I will work harder on “me” to hear “you” before I react. I will work harder to understand what I think I heard before I reply. I will work harder to keep my heart off my sleeve and my emotions intact.
(My “I ams” and my “I wills” are part of daily affirmations that I’ve been trying to think about.)
So…
All that said, what WORDS came to your mind as you read this? I’m curious to HEAR your thoughts.
Hope that everyone is starting their SONday off to a good beginning. I hope that you are able to do something you love, with SOMEONE YOU LOVE.
I’ve been home for a few days with some “issues” that all I’ll say, but it seems that we are on an upside!
I am easily bored (a good thing for those stories that pop in my head, but they haven’t been talking the last few days.) While I’ve been home, I asked Gene to help RE-hang some pictures that weren’t where I wanted them and he was gracious to want to help.
I had another project that added some fun, and memories…
I was bored with our bedroom, but not ready to dole out a bunch of money when I don’t have a clue what I’d want. I ran out for a few minutes yesterday because Gene saw an outfit in the Belk sale flyer that he wanted me to have – I will say he has good taste because it’s really cute 🙂 but while I was in the store, I thought about – ONE FRIVOLOUS, NOT NEEDED thing, so I ran to bedding.
I found these adorable pillows and… they were on sale… and I had a coupon! WINNING! So I brought them home with me – just a subtle little change went a long way, but…
I woke up this morning thinking about buttons. If you read Sweet Surrender, you know that there was a button story and I decided to do some digging. You know how every time you buy a shirt, etc, they attach extra buttons – I went through those and some buttons that I’ve saved from Alis’s sewing box and this is what happened.
BEFORE:
And then… I sewed buttons on one of the pillows:
behind is one of the new pillows I bought. I found buttons that picked up the color scheme of the new pillows and this is what I ended up with.
After:
Such a small thing made me so happy.
Sometimes that’s all it takes – one small thing to change your perspective.
That my focus right now – SMALL CHANGES. So many things in my life seem to need a tweak – small is doable and you can see almost instant results. Plus it keeps me occupied and away from the TV.
What’s a small change that you can make that will help you turn something little into something NEW?
This thought kept me awake last night and finally, I had to get up and try to clear my head.
The news last night was so unsettling. I’m not shy to say that Mr. Trump was not the person I saw leading our country, but I don’t see the senselessness of the destruction that took place (and I’m afraid to look at what has happened overnight). This man is who was elected and I PRAY for him to be MORE than I expect from him. I PRAY for him to turn my thoughts around and be MORE kind than some of the things I’ve seen and heard. PLEASE let him be MORE, because for him to fail… well, the only way I can even think to say it is this…
IF HE FAILS WE ARE SCREWED.
Let this new day be one of the HOPE Mr. Trump’s successor had us think about for our future. I, for one, don’t want to see a world without HOPE.
And so…
On that note… Going through chaos to bring change is what I am praying for. I have some changes ahead that I HOPE AND PRAY will bring some peace of mind back to Gene and I. I’m making a work change that will bring me closer to home, but more importantly, closer to Gene. I’m currently spending about three hours in the car round trip each day. Soon it will be less than an hour. I never thought about the commute time as a WHOLE when I took my current job. I will say – because I try to find a POSITIVE in everything – I’ve learned a lot in those hours each work day for the past five months – a lot about me… You can’t spend that much time stuck in traffic and NOT have time to think. 🙂 Some days its been prayerful thoughts – no one can make that commute without praying! Some of my thoughts have been about the future, and some have been hopeful thoughts that “ALL GREAT CHANGES ARE PRECEDED BY CHAOS,” and that something better is coming.
I am ready.
I’ve learned a lot about people in these past months – first of all: LEAVE FOR WORK FIVE MINUTES EARLIER PEOPLE! But really… I’ve learned that people can become family and I will miss the family I’ve made at this job. Five months isn’t really a long time – like a 1/3 of a year – but it’s long enough to learn who is good – and I like to surround myself with GOOD people – life would suck if there were only assholes. Write that down – it’s profound! Ha ha ha! I pray that these people – this family – stay in my friend bucket.
As the chaos passes, I pray that I can get back to Andy first, and then to Josh and Chellie, and whoever else pops in my head. Thank you for waiting for me.
I think I shall quote Matthew McConaughey from his 2014 Oscar acceptance speech and THANK my friend Judy Gasperini for sharing it with me…
“There’s a few things — about three things, to my count, that I need each day. One of them is something to look up to; another is something to look forward to; and another is someone to chase.
Now, first off I want to thank God because that’s who I look up. He’s graced my life with opportunities that I know are not of my hand or any other human hand. He has shown me that it’s a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates. In the words of the late Charlie Laughton who said, “When you got God, you got a friend, and that friend is you.”
To my family — that’s who and what I look forward to:
To my father, who I know he’s up there right now with a big pot of gumbo; he’s got a lemon meringue pie over there; he’s probably in his underwear, and he’s got a cold can of Miller Lite and he’s dancing right now. To you dad — you taught what it means to be a man.
To my mother, who’s here tonight, who taught me and my two older brothers — demanded — that we respect ourselves. And what we in turn learned was then we were better able to respect others. Thank you for that, Mama.”
To my wife, Camila, and my kids, Levi, Vida, and Mr. Stone, the courage and significance you give me every day I go out the door is unparalleled. You are the four people in my life that I want to make the most proud of me. Thank you.
And to my hero, that’s who I chase. Now when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say “Who’s your hero?” And I said, “I don’t know. I gotta think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.” I come back two weeks later — this person comes up and says “Who’s your hero?” I said, “I thought about it. You know who it is?” I said, “It’s me in 10 years.”
So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and goes, “So are you a hero?” And I was like, “Not even close. No, no, no.” She said, “Why?” I said, “Because my hero’s me at 35.” So you see every day, every week, every month, and every year of my life, my hero’s always 10 years away. I’m never gonna be my hero. I’m not gonna attain that. I know I’m not, and that’s just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.
So, to any of us, whatever those things are, whatever it is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we’re chasing — to that I say, “Amen.” To that I say, “Alright, alright, alright.” To that I say “Just keep living.”
Here’s hoping that you are(have) celebrating a wonderful time with your family – if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you are doing something with someone you love.
We had some cheer yesterday and then woke up to some more this morning. As I saw all the packages I thought about GIFTS.
Each of you who support me, follow me, read my stories, and have become my friend are one of the best gifts I can imagine. I pray ever day that I am able to meet some of you who are friends I haven’t met yet. Thank you for giving some of yourself to me…
Also when I think of the gifts I received I am most thrilled with the things that were chosen because the giver KNOWS me. I got a cargo net for my car because the groceries roll all around the trunk 🙂 and I got a wooden star – just a simple gray star but it has the most important word on it – my favorite word… HOPE. Where would we be without hope?
One of my friends had her last chemo treatment this week – I HOPE for a more calm journey going forward… I hope every day for more days. I hope that someone reads my words and likes the story I shared. I hope that Gene and I, and those we love stay healthy.
And I hope for PEACE ON EARTH…
God bless you richly – not with money, although I reckon we all HOPE for that 🙂 But richly in kind – I hope you get what you give and that you give with your heart…
Lulu’s Loves is only DAYS away! Dec 17th is GO LIVE, and I can’t wait for you to meet her. I can’t wait for you to share her experiences as she grows from a girl into a woman.
Here’s the link for PRESALE for only 0.99 through the 16th. On the 17th, the price increases to the regular price of $2.99.
I woke up and decided that they lie! They all lie!!!!
They say – “fall back an hour and you will get an extra hour’s sleep…” LIES I TELL YOU!
So here I am… getting ready to hit send on the document called Lulu’s Loves. The anxious nerves. The “Oh, this isn’t anything you’ve read from me before nerves. The “Ok, the BETA readers like it (most said LOVE) and they say – “GO WITH IT – YOU’RE READY FOR THIS” nerves…
So as I sit here bouncing my legs anxiously thinking about Lulu I want to add full disclosure…
This one won’t be suggestive.
This one isn’t PG 18 as the others have been – this one will be more edgy and I want YOU to know that. I’ve thought about it and gone back and forth and back and forth again.
The bottom line is that this is Lulu’s story. It’s what came to me and I’m sending it on like it is. My hesitation is that some of my readers are my mom’s age, so I thought about my mom. Would she read it and be ok with where Lulu’s journey takes her. And my heart said yes. She might cringe a time or two but she’d realize that it’s part of the story – Lulu’s story.
Gene’s read some of it and he says send it. “You have to step out of your safe zone. You have to reach all romance readers in order to grow.”
Get ready for Lulu’s Loves – The next novel from Barbara S. Stewart A PG 29ish romance…
Lulu makes me happy – I’ll have a release date and a cover to share soon.
Sometimes ‘reflection’ begins a different path. Sometimes the path is a new road, sometimes the same road remains but something has to change.
I don’t know what lies ahead, but I know somethings need to change. If it doesn’t ‘bring me joy’ – it’s gone. We are simplifying. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but we’re opening closets and drawers and considering the things we find. DO THEY BRING JOY?
What about you? Are their “bags and boxes, drawers and shelves” that are calling you to give them attention? DO IT. Touch it – if it doesn’t bring you joy – get rid of it. Someone else may find GREAT JOY in it – you could be giving someone JOY that they’ve been lacking because you held on to it.
I looked in the closet in the office and found a box with the drafts for each book. The boxes contained notes from “you” telling me how a story touched you… I thought about it – do I really need to keep that?
DUH??? Those boxes make me happy – they’re staying in the closet 🙂
I’ll keep you posted in what things brought us joy and what is on it’s way OUT!
Think about it…
And remember – if you’re reading this – I <3 you, B
