I just can’t. The news is so full of…. BAD STUFF. I want to turn the cable off. I know this “stuff” happens, but we are bombarded with BAD from every direction. Gene likes to read the news on his iPad and sometimes he will read something out loud. I asked him to stop. It’s everywhere – I see it. I know what’s going on. It’s just too much. Everyone has their opinion of our government – of our current events – of their religious beliefs. I GET THAT. Stop bombarding us with it.
At this rate – we will all be on zoloft, or xanax, or some other anti anxiety medication just to get through a normal day. MAKE IT STOP.
I want some GOOD NEWS.
I’m listening to books on CD in the car. I’m trying to read (AND WRITE) to occupy my mind. I’m reading a book each morning called The Miracle Morning to see if I can self-help my way to better day. I’m trying to put the earphones in and listen to music when Gene is watching the news.
Post a link in the comments and tell us what you’re reading. I’m looking for romance. I’m looking for a STORY that will capture my attention so I can turn away from all this insanity.
This thought kept me awake last night and finally, I had to get up and try to clear my head.
The news last night was so unsettling. I’m not shy to say that Mr. Trump was not the person I saw leading our country, but I don’t see the senselessness of the destruction that took place (and I’m afraid to look at what has happened overnight). This man is who was elected and I PRAY for him to be MORE than I expect from him. I PRAY for him to turn my thoughts around and be MORE kind than some of the things I’ve seen and heard. PLEASE let him be MORE, because for him to fail… well, the only way I can even think to say it is this…
IF HE FAILS WE ARE SCREWED.
Let this new day be one of the HOPE Mr. Trump’s successor had us think about for our future. I, for one, don’t want to see a world without HOPE.
And so…
On that note… Going through chaos to bring change is what I am praying for. I have some changes ahead that I HOPE AND PRAY will bring some peace of mind back to Gene and I. I’m making a work change that will bring me closer to home, but more importantly, closer to Gene. I’m currently spending about three hours in the car round trip each day. Soon it will be less than an hour. I never thought about the commute time as a WHOLE when I took my current job. I will say – because I try to find a POSITIVE in everything – I’ve learned a lot in those hours each work day for the past five months – a lot about me… You can’t spend that much time stuck in traffic and NOT have time to think. 🙂 Some days its been prayerful thoughts – no one can make that commute without praying! Some of my thoughts have been about the future, and some have been hopeful thoughts that “ALL GREAT CHANGES ARE PRECEDED BY CHAOS,” and that something better is coming.
I am ready.
I’ve learned a lot about people in these past months – first of all: LEAVE FOR WORK FIVE MINUTES EARLIER PEOPLE! But really… I’ve learned that people can become family and I will miss the family I’ve made at this job. Five months isn’t really a long time – like a 1/3 of a year – but it’s long enough to learn who is good – and I like to surround myself with GOOD people – life would suck if there were only assholes. Write that down – it’s profound! Ha ha ha! I pray that these people – this family – stay in my friend bucket.
As the chaos passes, I pray that I can get back to Andy first, and then to Josh and Chellie, and whoever else pops in my head. Thank you for waiting for me.
I think I shall quote Matthew McConaughey from his 2014 Oscar acceptance speech and THANK my friend Judy Gasperini for sharing it with me…
“There’s a few things — about three things, to my count, that I need each day. One of them is something to look up to; another is something to look forward to; and another is someone to chase.
Now, first off I want to thank God because that’s who I look up. He’s graced my life with opportunities that I know are not of my hand or any other human hand. He has shown me that it’s a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates. In the words of the late Charlie Laughton who said, “When you got God, you got a friend, and that friend is you.”
To my family — that’s who and what I look forward to:
To my father, who I know he’s up there right now with a big pot of gumbo; he’s got a lemon meringue pie over there; he’s probably in his underwear, and he’s got a cold can of Miller Lite and he’s dancing right now. To you dad — you taught what it means to be a man.
To my mother, who’s here tonight, who taught me and my two older brothers — demanded — that we respect ourselves. And what we in turn learned was then we were better able to respect others. Thank you for that, Mama.”
To my wife, Camila, and my kids, Levi, Vida, and Mr. Stone, the courage and significance you give me every day I go out the door is unparalleled. You are the four people in my life that I want to make the most proud of me. Thank you.
And to my hero, that’s who I chase. Now when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say “Who’s your hero?” And I said, “I don’t know. I gotta think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.” I come back two weeks later — this person comes up and says “Who’s your hero?” I said, “I thought about it. You know who it is?” I said, “It’s me in 10 years.”
So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and goes, “So are you a hero?” And I was like, “Not even close. No, no, no.” She said, “Why?” I said, “Because my hero’s me at 35.” So you see every day, every week, every month, and every year of my life, my hero’s always 10 years away. I’m never gonna be my hero. I’m not gonna attain that. I know I’m not, and that’s just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.
So, to any of us, whatever those things are, whatever it is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we’re chasing — to that I say, “Amen.” To that I say, “Alright, alright, alright.” To that I say “Just keep living.”
Andy – yes THAT Andy – Andy Stevens has shared a story with me. He’s told me all kinds of things that hadn’t been part of Bethy or Carlee’s journey. He’s coming to terms with a slew of emotions, memories, thoughts, and mistakes…
We aren’t quite ready to share more than this, YET.
I just wanted to let you know that I’ve embarked on another journey (see how I keep slipping that in!) with him. Gene approves! 🙂
Be well and remember, if you are reading this… I love you!
I have a working title for my next book – After the Fall. I love this story (I LOVE THEM ALL!) but this one has a personal story attached. It’s out of my hands for now. I’ve sent it to the next two sets of eyes – one a reader who has lived with me through each story and one is the first CRITICAL SET OF EYES… so it’s all I can do for now.
For those of you who didn’t like that I went a “little further” in the last book – for those who wanted more than I gave – these are my stories. I’ve reigned it back in JUST A TAD. Going further didn’t do anything for me – personally – and it didn’t get me anywhere outside my comfort zone… STICK WITH WHAT YOU KNOW… I know milder love stories and if that keeps my circle smaller, than that’s where I’m supposed to be.
I answered a post that someone else posted the other day about too much or too little and the bottom line is that we’re never going to please everyone – find your niche and stick to it. WRITE WHAT YOU LOVE, not what you hope someone else will.
I’ll be an anxious mess for the next few days – while the first eyes do their thing…
I’m going to end this with Happy Easter – He is Risen. If you don’t believe that, than happy whatever….
Here’s hoping that you are(have) celebrating a wonderful time with your family – if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you are doing something with someone you love.
We had some cheer yesterday and then woke up to some more this morning. As I saw all the packages I thought about GIFTS.
Each of you who support me, follow me, read my stories, and have become my friend are one of the best gifts I can imagine. I pray ever day that I am able to meet some of you who are friends I haven’t met yet. Thank you for giving some of yourself to me…
Also when I think of the gifts I received I am most thrilled with the things that were chosen because the giver KNOWS me. I got a cargo net for my car because the groceries roll all around the trunk 🙂 and I got a wooden star – just a simple gray star but it has the most important word on it – my favorite word… HOPE. Where would we be without hope?
One of my friends had her last chemo treatment this week – I HOPE for a more calm journey going forward… I hope every day for more days. I hope that someone reads my words and likes the story I shared. I hope that Gene and I, and those we love stay healthy.
And I hope for PEACE ON EARTH…
God bless you richly – not with money, although I reckon we all HOPE for that 🙂 But richly in kind – I hope you get what you give and that you give with your heart…
Lulu’s Loves is only DAYS away! Dec 17th is GO LIVE, and I can’t wait for you to meet her. I can’t wait for you to share her experiences as she grows from a girl into a woman.
Here’s the link for PRESALE for only 0.99 through the 16th. On the 17th, the price increases to the regular price of $2.99.
Sometimes ‘reflection’ begins a different path. Sometimes the path is a new road, sometimes the same road remains but something has to change.
I don’t know what lies ahead, but I know somethings need to change. If it doesn’t ‘bring me joy’ – it’s gone. We are simplifying. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but we’re opening closets and drawers and considering the things we find. DO THEY BRING JOY?
What about you? Are their “bags and boxes, drawers and shelves” that are calling you to give them attention? DO IT. Touch it – if it doesn’t bring you joy – get rid of it. Someone else may find GREAT JOY in it – you could be giving someone JOY that they’ve been lacking because you held on to it.
I looked in the closet in the office and found a box with the drafts for each book. The boxes contained notes from “you” telling me how a story touched you… I thought about it – do I really need to keep that?
DUH??? Those boxes make me happy – they’re staying in the closet 🙂
I’ll keep you posted in what things brought us joy and what is on it’s way OUT!
Think about it…
And remember – if you’re reading this – I <3 you, B
