This thought kept me awake last night and finally, I had to get up and try to clear my head.

The news last night was so unsettling. I’m not shy to say that Mr. Trump was not the person I saw leading our country, but I don’t see the senselessness of the destruction that took place (and I’m afraid to look at what has happened overnight). This man is who was elected and I PRAY for him to be MORE than I expect from him. I PRAY for him to turn my thoughts around and be MORE kind than some of the things I’ve seen and heard. PLEASE let him be MORE, because for him to fail… well, the only way I can even think to say it is this…

IF HE FAILS WE ARE SCREWED.

Let this new day be one of the HOPE Mr. Trump’s successor had us think about for our future. I, for one, don’t want to see a world without HOPE.

And so…

On that note… Going through chaos to bring change is what I am praying for. I have some changes ahead that I HOPE AND PRAY will bring some peace of mind back to Gene and I. I’m making a work change that will bring me closer to home, but more importantly, closer to Gene. I’m currently spending about three hours in the car round trip each day. Soon it will be less than an hour. I never thought about the commute time as a WHOLE when I took my current job. I will say – because I try to find a POSITIVE in everything – I’ve learned a lot in those hours each work day for the past five months – a lot about me… You can’t spend that much time stuck in traffic and NOT have time to think.  🙂  Some days its been prayerful thoughts – no one can make that commute without praying! Some of my thoughts have been about the future, and some have been hopeful thoughts that “ALL GREAT CHANGES ARE PRECEDED BY CHAOS,” and that something better is coming.

I am ready.

I’ve learned a lot about people in these past months – first of all: LEAVE FOR WORK FIVE MINUTES EARLIER PEOPLE!  But really… I’ve learned that people can become family and I will miss the family I’ve made at this job. Five months isn’t really a long time – like a 1/3 of a year – but it’s long enough to learn who is good – and I like to surround myself with GOOD people – life would suck if there were only assholes. Write that down – it’s profound! Ha ha ha!  I pray that these people – this family – stay in my friend bucket.

As the chaos passes, I pray that I can get back to Andy first, and then to Josh and Chellie, and whoever else pops in my head. Thank you for waiting for me.

I think I shall quote Matthew McConaughey from his 2014 Oscar acceptance speech and THANK my friend Judy Gasperini for sharing it with me…

“There’s a few things — about three things, to my count, that I need each day. One of them is something to look up to; another is something to look forward to; and another is someone to chase.

Now, first off I want to thank God because that’s who I look up. He’s graced my life with opportunities that I know are not of my hand or any other human hand. He has shown me that it’s a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates. In the words of the late Charlie Laughton who said, “When you got God, you got a friend, and that friend is you.”

To my family — that’s who and what I look forward to:

To my father, who I know he’s up there right now with a big pot of gumbo; he’s got a lemon meringue pie over there; he’s probably in his underwear, and he’s got a cold can of Miller Lite and he’s dancing right now. To you dad — you taught what it means to be a man.

To my mother, who’s here tonight, who taught me and my two older brothers — demanded — that we respect ourselves. And what we in turn learned was then we were better able to respect others. Thank you for that, Mama.”

To my wife, Camila, and my kids, Levi, Vida, and Mr. Stone, the courage and significance you give me every day I go out the door is unparalleled. You are the four people in my life that I want to make the most proud of me. Thank you.

And to my hero, that’s who I chase. Now when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say “Who’s your hero?” And I said, “I don’t know. I gotta think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.” I come back two weeks later — this person comes up and says  “Who’s your hero?” I said, “I thought about it. You know who it is?” I said, “It’s me in 10 years.”

So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and goes, “So are you a hero?” And I was like, “Not even close. No, no, no.” She said, “Why?” I said, “Because my hero’s me at 35.” So you see every day, every week, every month, and every year of my life, my hero’s always 10 years away. I’m never gonna be my hero. I’m not gonna attain that. I know I’m not, and that’s just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

So, to any of us, whatever those things are, whatever it is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we’re chasing — to that I say, “Amen.” To that I say, “Alright, alright, alright.” To that I say “Just keep living.”

I think I’ll keep chasing myself…

If you are reading this… I love you…